James Thacker: U12 football, managed to dribble round the whole team, round the keeper and just tapped it. Celebrated, but was cleared away.

We feel your pain, James...

Tweet us now at #mysportingfail or post on the BBC Sport Facebook page., external

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Balotelli's first spell at Milan was relatively successful and uneventful, although there was the odd misdemeanor.

He lost his temper in front of the cameras after his performance was criticised by Italian television pundits, telling his interviewers that they did not understand football and throwing his microphone down.

Image source, Getty Images

He was also booked for making a vulgar gesture at Cagliari supporters, served two three-match bans and was caught smoking in the toilet of a train by a ticket collector.

However, these incidents paled in comparison to some of his antics at Manchester City, where, most famously, and as you do, he set fire to his house after letting off fireworks in his bathroom.

AC Milan have revealed they have inserted a good behaviour clause into the contract of Mario Balotelli, which includes banning extravagant haircuts and clothing and committing him to a healthy lifestyle. 

Why, it's as if they don't trust him...

Image source, Getty Images

According to Italian sports daily Gazzetta dello Sport, external, Balotelli - who has joined on a season-long loan from Liverpool - must not damage the image of the club and his Twitter, Facebook and Instagram posts will be closely monitored.

He will be banned from extravagant haircuts and clothing, from smoking and from visiting night clubs and must turn up on time from training.

Phil McNulty
BBC Sport chief football writer

Stones has handed in a transfer request following Chelsea's repeated attempts to buy him.

The Premier League champions have had bids of £20m and £26m rejected for the 21-year-old England international, with a further £30m attempt also reported.

Some interesting quotes from Man United boss Louis van Gaal in today's papers.

Image source, Getty Images

Van Gaal told the Daily Star, external he is building a side capable of winning the Champions League, while the Daily Telegraph, external says the United gaffer has told them Marouane Fellaini -, usually a central midfielder - will operate as a forward for this season.

Your turn to get involved now please (basically because we're already flagging a bit).

Remember this memorable picture from the World Athletics Championships...

Image source, Getty Images

Poor old Rolanda Bell of Panama went for a dip in the Women's 3000 metres steeplechase. Then there have been Mo Farah's stumbles and Katarina Johnson-Thompson's nightmare in the long jump ... which lead's to Wednesday's talking point:

We want to know when things have gone wrong in your own sporting 'career', the mishaps, the dramas or the plain bizarre.

Tweet us now at #mysportingfail or post on the BBC Sport Facebook page., external

"I'd rather be out enjoying life because who knows, this could be my last championship if the surgery doesn't go well." 

Those are the remarkably frank words of US hurdler Aries Merritt, who is due to have a kidney transplant the same week that he competes in Beijing and go for 110m hurdles gold.

Image source, EPA

Merritt, 30, learned in 2013 that he has a rare genetic disorder and will have surgery back in the US on September 1 - three days after the final. His sister LaToya is his donor.

He said: "The more I train the worse my kidneys get, that's why I am getting a transplant."

The Guardian, external is reporting that Chelsea will make a fourth and final offer worth £40m for Everton defender John Stones after the 21-year-old England international handed in a transfer request.

Image source, Getty Images

Chelsea's first game following the international break is a trip to Goodison Park on 12 September. Could be tasty.

Aston Villa's League Cup third round tie against Midlands rivals Birmingham might be worth watching.

Image source, Getty Images

Villa boss Tim Sherwood has promised fans that his team "won't leave anything on the pitch" (presumably in terms of effort, not nicking the cornerflags and the goalposts).

"We will give them the fans a performance," added Sherwood.

Expect a lively game.

Barcelona president Josep Maria Bartomeu has dismissed talk that 23-year-old Brazil forward Neymar, a reported Manchester United target, could be sold. - Catalunya Radio (in Catalan)   , external

Image source, Reuters

Zenit St Petersburg will resist any attempt by Chelsea to sign Argentina defender Ezequiel Garay if they pursue the 28-year-old as an alternative to John Stones - Telegraph, external

Everton have bid £5m for Tottenham's Argentina defender Federico Fazio, 28, after Stones asked to leave Goodison Park - Daily Mail, external

As well as Arsenal-Tottenham, there are three all-Premier League ties... Sunderland host Manchester City, Norwich host West Brom and Leicester host West Ham.

Here's the draw in full.

Image source, BBC Sport

Talk about a mouth-watering draw. Tottenhamwill host north London rivalsArsenalin the League Cup third round - one for the fans to look forward to.

HoldersChelseabegin their defence of the trophy with a trip to League One Walsall, whileAston Villawill host local rivals Birmingham City.

Image source, Getty Images

Elsewhere,Manchester UnitedandLiverpoolwere given home ties against Ipswich Town and Carlisle respectively.

In 2009, Holland winger Arjen Robben joined Bayern Munich from Real Madrid.

Image source, Getty Images

It's fair to say he's not done too badly since the switch.

A few snippets you may have missed from overnight...

Aljaz Bedene, Britain's number two, overcame two match points to beat top seed Gilles Simon at Winston-Salem and progress to the last 16.

Image source, Getty Images

Nottinghamshire reached the One-Day Cup semi-finals with a rain-reduced 49-run quarter-final victory over Durham.

And it was a clean sweep for GB athletes at the World Championships in Beijing overnight. Jenny Meadows, Lynsey Sharp and Shelayna Oskan-Clarke are into the 800m semi-finals, Lawrence Clarke qualified for Thursday's 110m hurdles semi-finals and Sophie Hitchon progresses in the hammer throw.

Plenty of League Cup second-round action last night. Aston Villa needed extra time and a Scott Sinclair hat-trick to see off League Two Notts County,Leicester made it four matches unbeaten for Claudio Ranieri with a 1-4 win over Bury and Newcastle thumped Northampton 4-1 to progress.

There were also wins for Bournemouth,Crystal Palace,Stoke,West Brom and Sunderland, for whom Jermain Defoe hit a hat-trick.

Image source, PA

Watford were the only Premier League casualties, losing 1-0 to Preston at Deepdale.

Find the rest of last night's results here.

So to today's action and it's a game of two halves.

Cricket, athletics and hockey to see you through until 19:00 BST, when football takes over as Manchester United take on Club Brugge in the Champions League.

Image source, BBC Sport

Celtic will now compete in the Europa League and find out their opponents in Friday's group stage draw.

Among the teams in Europe's second-tier competition are Liverpool and Tottenham.

The club, though, won't get anywhere near the same financial rewards, as this illustrates.

Image source, .

Celtic were "scared and frightened" in their Champions League exit to Malmo, said boss Ronny Deila.

The Scottish champions went out 4-3 on aggregate after a 2-0 defeat in Sweden.

Image source, Reut

Deila said: "The hype about the Champions League is big, everybody wants it so badly. You have to deal with it but we looked very stressed.

"We didn't look like we wanted to go out and play football. We have a lot of young players coming through but this was a hard lesson for us."