United Kingdom

Here we go... UK Eurovision royalty in the house.

By any metric, Lulu absolutely smashes this. She's cheeky in the verses, big and bold in the chorus.

By the end, when she's staring down the camera singing "that's right", both she and you know she has this in the bag.

What you may not know is that this song actually predicted the Premier League career of Tony Yeboah.

United Kingdom

And Robbo is into the final!

Scotland fans have had precious little to cheer of late, but this Andy Robertson goal is one of them. It's a cracking hit from 25 yards that fires across the keeper and in. If only they had a few more players like him.

United Kingdom

Colin Paterson
Entertainment Correspondent, BBC Radio 5 live

Russia won the first ever Euros in 1960. At Eurovision 2012 they pulled off one of the least likely runners up finishes in the history of the competition.

Their entry Buranovskiye Babushki were a group of grannies from the Udmart Republic, raising money to rebuild their village church. To put their age into context, founding member Elizaveta Zarbatova was born in 1925, five years before Lev Yashin, Russia’s Ballon d’Or winning goalkeeper. He had been dead for 22 years before their Eurovision heroics.

The grannies beat one of T.A.T.U in the national final for the right to represent the country. The song was co-written by the grannies and Mary Susan Applegate, best known for Jennifer Rush’s The Power of Love.

It is almost unlistenable – but their performance, which included brandishing baked goods, charmed the voters. Unlike many Russia results of the 2010s, this one has not been turned over retrospectively due to a failed drugs test.

Portugal

It takes a long old time for this song to properly start as we're left staring at poor Salvador, stood nervously in a sea of flag-waving fans.

When he does open his mouth, what comes out is even meeker than his demeanour suggested. He almost apologetically dangles his voice down the microphone. At one point the crowd cheer a bit and it completely drowns him out. His response is to play an invisible violin at them.

But clearly such a delicate display is what Europe was after in 2017 because it swept to victory to give Portugal its first ever Eurovision success.

Portugal

Here's a shock - Cristiano hasn't made the final. He misses out by a single spot for his effort against Luxembourg. To be fair, for all the quality of the lobbed finish, the forward has scored many better goals. And this one was laid on a plate for him by some pretty shoddy defending.

Portugal

United Kingdom

The United Kingdom were holding out for a Eurovision hero in 2013, so who else could they possibly turn to than Welsh songstress Bonnie.

Unfortunately, despite evidently possessing the ability to knock out a solid power ballad, Tyler is left high and dry by a bland, dull, meandering song that sets of going nowhere, gets lost midway through and ends up cold and shivering on a mountain side with just a cagoule and a Twix to get it through the night.

"What ya gonna do when your ship is sinking? And you're crying out for help and just the seagulls listening," sings Bonnie at one point. You can see in her eyes just how awfully resonant these lyrics are to her at that very moment.

Still, at least she bested Humperdinck from the previous year with a 19th-place finish.

United Kingdom

Classic dipping free-kick from Bale, that looked like it might just give Wales a very famous and brag-earning win over England at Euro 2016. England came back and won it at the death in the end. And you have to take marks off this for some pretty shoddy keeping from Joe Hart. But for the moment alone, it earned it's spot in our semi-final list. Not the final, though.

United Kingdom

Turkey
Turkey

Is there any bigger precursor to how bad a song is going to be than the lead singer, before a note has been sung, asking the audience to clap their hands?

The front man of Turkish band maNga (yep, spelt like that) commits this very crime before launching into a pretty bog standard rock song with lots of flashing lights and guitar thrashing.

What lifts this (and I can only imagine is the thing that earned it second place in 2010) is the presence of an interpretive dance robot that proceeds to try and saw it's own arm off midway through. Go for your ears mate. Save yourself while you can.

The big reveal is that the robot is actually stripping and reveals itself to be a PVC-clad woman by the end. Perhaps a metaphor for... er... what's next?

Turkey
Turkey

Good touch for a big man. Clubs in England haven't seen enough of this from the striker. He is unleashed on goal by a neat through-ball and with the keeper advancing whips out a lovely little lift to take the Moldova number one out of the equation and give himself a simple finish.

Not enough to get him and his country into the final, though.

Turkey
Turkey

Ugh, do I have to do this? Really?

It's pointless digging too deep into the context. You know who Jedward are. They're basically what happens when reality TV and popping candy have babies.

The performance sums up their entire 15-minute career - precious little talent, next to no co-ordination but boundless enthusiasm and big, stupid hair.

I take my hat off to Ireland, this is one monumental act of trolling on the rest of Europe. We've had to tolerate them, now you do too. It's essentially a set of parents dumping their obnoxious kids on the grandparents for a weekend just so they can get some peace and quiet.

Inexplicably, instead of packing them off to bed ASAP the rest of Europe voted this eighth. Stop encouraging them!

Republic of Ireland

A quality first-time hit from the Irish midfield magician, who is in exactly the right spot and in space to lash his drive home.

This was Ireland's first goal of Euro 2016 and came loaded with such hope. They would qualify from their group but fall to France in the last 16.

Unfortunately, this is the end of the road for Wes.

Republic of Ireland

Colin Paterson
Entertainment Correspondent, BBC Radio 5 live

Finland have qualified for their first ever Euros, 14 years after their one and only Eurovision victory with Lordi’s “Hard Rock Hallelujah”.

In general though, their entries have proved to be as robust as Jari Litmanen’s ankle post 2000.

In 52 other appearances they have never come in the Top 5 and have been last 9 times. Including in 1982 when they received “nul points” for Kojo’s “Nuku Pommiin’ which translates as Bomb Out. And boy did they bomb.

This soft rock anti-nuclear protest would-be anthem gave advice on what to do "If someone soon throws a nuclear poo here on our Europe". Kojo’s top survival tip was to sleep through it. Something sadly impossible to do during “Nuku Pommiin”

Finland

I mean, come on, which other Finnish Eurovision entry could we possibly pick? These guys had Europe with the words 'rock zombies' and only tightened their grip during the three-minute duration of Hard Rock Hallelujah.

It pretty much defies mockery, because there is no way these guys aren't in on the joke. My advice is that you just sit back, press play, enjoy and try not to think about how sweaty they must be by the end.

Finland

We're all used to seeing these kind of goals from Pukki now. It's a neat ball into the gap in a defence that the Norwich striker is most alert to and collects before pulling out a very neat chipped finish.

This is one of two he scored in a 3-0 win over Armenia. I've no idea if he felt particularly aggrieved by Aram finishing fourth in 2014 Eurovision.

Finland