Jonathan Agnew
BBC cricket correspondent on Test Match Special

I want my team to run themselves out so Charles Dagnall and Harry Judd can carry on their innings. Simon Hughes is woeful. He's the fella who tells everyone how to bat at the interval in a Test match. We're in a stagnant mess.

Al Mitchell, who briefly had her cap on back to front, bowls a rank full hop that goes way over Laura Wright's head, before successive deliveries go flying to Marcel at first slip. She's still smiling, though, and that's the main thing. That's four! Alison finally gets one to pitch and Laura Wright absolutely creams it through mid-wicket and away to the boundary.

Baroness Tanni Grey-Thompson
Guest Test Match Special commentator

Simon Hughes is a case of do as I say, not as I do.

Laura Wright, who has never batted before, has got Greg James in her sights, and he promptly sends down a disgraceful long hop. A nice looking back foot cut brings her a single but Simon Hughes, The Analyst, has yet to get off the mark after five balls!

Stephan Shemilt
BBC Sport at Weetwood Park

A coach, a batting hero and a World Cup winner. At the back of the box, Alastair Cook has just met Alistair Brownlee. The two greatest sporting Alis?

Harry Judd joins Charles Dagnall in the running for man of the match. He retires on 33 not out after pulling Ed Smith for four. What a shot it was too - very Steve Smith-esque.

Jonathan Agnew
BBC cricket correspondent on Test Match Special

For goodness sake, Simon Mann... this is not in the spirit of TMS.

This feels like I'm damning him with faint praise but Harry Judd is a class above as he clips a lovely boundary off his pads. Simon Mann, meanwhile, is still trying his best to mankad someone. Simon Hughes is the latest near-victim, before a huge, blatantly plumb lbw appeal is turned down by umpire James Taylor.

Jonathan Agnew
BBC cricket correspondent on Test Match Special

Tuffers got to 14 - for probably only the second time in his career - and got carried away. He's paid with his wicket.

Tuffers has hit a four! Tuffers! A man who looks like he doesn't know which end of a bat to hold has just smacked Ed Smith over the top for a boundary. That's the Ed Smith who took one first-class wicket in 191 matches.

Jonathan Agnew
BBC cricket correspondent on Test Match Special

I'm concerned, as the team's coach, to see Phil Tufnell batting at five.

Here's Marcel from Love Island - and he's not only missed the strip, he's missed the keeper, bat, stumps, and everything in between. Four utterly horrible byes. The next delivery is better, in that it hits the pitch. He bowls like Malinga, except with none of the pace or accuracy. Meanwhile, Dani Hazell is explaining to Aggers what 'the Blazin Squad' is.

Ashley Galliene: I'm 80% sure Greg James is still on the phone tucked in his helmet.

I admire Harry Judd's optimism. He knocks the ball down and then shouts "push, push!" as he tries to turn a single into a quick two. Unfortunately for him, he's got Tuffers at the other end - not a man known for his quickness between the wickets.

That's one way to motivate your team, Michael...

Tuffers is the next in. When I was a kid, watching Test cricket with my dad, he used to leave when England were nine down because "Tuffers is in next and there's no point in watching the inevitable."

Simon Mann, meanwhile, has just threatened to mankad Dom Joly. It's only a game, gentlemen...

Dan Norcross
BBC Test Match Special

Simon Mann is having an exceptionally good game. I think there's still hope of an international career.