Mel Jones
Former Australia batter on BBC Radio 5 live

Australia are relying so much on their three pacers to do the job for them, plus Nathan Lyon. It could be a factor that they don't have an all-rounder like Shane Watson to bowl 5-6 overs and keep the fast men fresh. That worked so well for Mitchell Johnson four years ago but Australia have a batsman at number six this time around.

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For all the talk of England's problems - and, you know, there's a fair few of them - Australia haven't had the smoothest build up to today.

The selectors announced their team for the first Test on Friday and it was greeted with derision from several quarters.

Their picks included Shaun Marsh - recalled for the eighth time - newbie Cameron Bancroft and Tim Paine, who last played Test cricket in 2010, as wicket-keeper.

Ex-leggie Stuart MacGill described the selectors as "morons masquerading as mentors" while Jim Maxwell described them as "unhinged". Ouch.

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On that note, I think it's time to have a look at this Australia squad, and enjoy the hubris while we can.

We're an hour away from the toss, so let's get the squad speculation going.

Chris Barrett, the oracle from the Sydney Morning Herald, reckons that Shaun Marsh will be playing for Australia, despite having a sore back.

It's best to start 'em young!

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So, to Townsville, and England's final warm-up match against a Cricket Australia XI that was only marginally different to the one they beat in Adelaide.

No England batsman had reached three figures yet and Alastair Cook had made 47 runs in three innings, and there was still debate over who would be the third seamer.

Mark Stoneman and then Dawid Malan solved the first part of that problem, with both players making centuries, and Cook made a welcome 70 on the first day.

However, England were made to toil on the last day as Jason Sangha and Matthew Short - who had played a grand total of seven first-class matches between them - put on 263 runs and scoring their maiden centuries.

It was a flat pitch, granted, but it's a bit of a bum note to end on.

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Well...

England's first tour match was against a Western Australia XI who had an average age of 22.

They drew that one - there were wickets for James Anderson, half-centuries for four of the top five and a first ball dismissal for Alastair Cook.

Then on to Adelaide, where Chris Woakes was the stand out, finishing with match figures of 6-65 as England beat a Cricket Australia XI by 192 runs.

By this point, no batsman had made a century, and England had tripped into those middle-order collapses that they've been so fond of, losing 7-45 against CA.

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Here's my highlight of the Ashes tour so far - Moeen and Cook feeding a crocodile.

Worth a watch just for Moeen, the most laid back man in the England side, having a slight moment when the crocodile appears.

Steven Smith: Optimistic about England’s chances. Will miss Stokes but Woakes is going to have a strong series. Get on top of Lyon and we can win.

A man with the same name as the Aussie captain is backing England...

And now, the first in a series I'm going to call 'the Ashes makes people say really stupid things.'

Spinner Nathan Lyon said he wanted Australia to "end the careers" of England players which, even compared to the stupid comments of an Ashes series, was a bit much.

Lyon then claimed that Matt Prior, on the last tour of Australia, wanted to go home early because he was "scared".

Prior was having none of this...

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Paul Hallett‏: I've been going to Ashes matches since 1986 and there's not one I have gone to where we've not been the underdog. Pretty much sums up the nature of both nations: one bullish, confident, the other quietly confident. Can't wait to be honest, this starts winter for me.

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There's no England fan that looks back on the last tour of Australia with any sort of affection.

Whitewashed 5-0, it was a near disaster from start to finish, with the team that went to number one in the world downcast and disheartened by the end of it.

You can read the story of that series, told by those who endured it, over here.

It should probably come with some sort of explicit grimness warning but, alas, we don't have one of those.

Image source, Getty Images

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BBC Radio 5 live

To get you in the mood, 5 live's special Ashes preview show is about to get going.

Join Eleanor Oldroyd, live in Brisbane, by using the player at the top of the page.

Nick, if you're reading - which one are you? That's brilliant!

For his fourth tour down under, Alastair Cook has adopted the air of a grumpy uncle at a family Christmas, disdainfully watching the kids squabble around him.

On the subject of sledging, Cook said: "All the talking will stop very quickly and it will become a normal series after about two hours of play.

"They're not suddenly bowling 150 miles an hour, they've not got magic balls which start way outside the stumps and swing miles and stuff.

"They're very good bowlers with good records. As batters, that is the challenge we've got in the next seven weeks."

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I'm with Matthew. I get that they're graduating from the Merv Hughes school of threatening facial hair but it's not worked. Pat Cummins looks like Freddie Mercury.

Matthew Warwick‏: Hard to take the Aussies seriously with that facial hair.