Australia retain the men's Ashes
England bowled out for just 68 in little over an hour on third morning
Boland takes six wickets in second innings
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Image source, Getty ImagesI fully expected England to lose today, and relatively quickly, but this has been astounding.
The pitch and conditions are fairly good for batting today, but the application has been staggeringly short.
The last four wickets have fallen for five runs in 24 balls.
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Trail by 15
Some good news for you, this 2021 side won't be breaking that record.
James Anderson nudges a couple off his hips.
Maybe you should stay up after all.
Image source, Getty ImagesEngland have now had 54 ducks in Test cricket this year.
That equals the all-time record, also set by England.
Ian Chappell
Former Australia captain on Test Match Special
This gives the selectors a problem - who do you leave out?
Simon Mann
BBC Test Match Special commentator
Scott Boland is just not going to stop.
Robinson c Labuschagne b Boland 0 (Eng 65-9)
Humiliating.
Ollie Robinson looks to get forward and defend but a thick outside edge is comfortably pouched by Marnus Labuschagne.
Boland has six wickets, for just five runs, in 3.3 overs.
England are closing in on an innings defeat. This is a day that will live in the history of English cricket - and not for the right reasons.
I am genuinely astounded that 45,000 people are reading and following this page.
Glutton for punishment the lot of you.
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Simon Mann
BBC Test Match Special commentator
He's got a five-for! Scott Boland is having a debut to remember on his home ground. He can barely believe it. They are standing all around the MCG.
Wood c & b Boland 0 (Eng 65-8)
Scott Boland has taken a five-wicket haul in 3.1 overs. Can we all just go to bed now?
Mark Wood, who is at least two positions too high at eight, looks to defend but chips a return to Boland, who takes it relatively comfortably.
The Victorian quick has 5-5 on debut.
Trail by 17
England will take these.
Cameron Green gives Jos Buttler a juicy full toss and the England keeper drives to the cover boundary.
They are edging closer to making the hosts bat again.
#bbccricket
Megan McIntyre: As an Aussie, I love to win. But this feels a bit hollow. Everyone wants an Ashes contest, not the ongoing batting shambles of England.
Joe Root finishes the calendar year with 1,708 runs and an average of 61 by the way.
The wait for that first century in Australia goes on.
#bbccricket
Image source, Getty ImagesJukebox Jack: My word, as an Australia debutant, could you DREAM of an easier opponent to start against? 4 wickets for 5 runs. That is CRINGINGLY embarrassing. He's not even that good a bowler!
Simon Mann
BBC Test Match Special commentator
Boland must think Test cricket is a doddle.
Trail by 21
Mark Wood withdraws the bat first up and lets one go by, before he is beaten by a lovely seaming delivery from Scott Boland.
Boland has taken four wickets, for five runs, from three overs in this innings.
Mark Wood is in at eight...
Ian Chappell
Former Australia captain on Test Match Special
They are absolutely ridiculous bowling figures - as is 61-7.
Root c Warner b Boland 28 (Eng 61-7)
Go to bed, this is over.
What an innings, and Test, that Scott Boland is having. Joe Root looks to drive but a thick outside edge is comfortably held by David Warner at first slip.
Boland now has 4-5 in this innings.
Seriously, don't stay up. England are sliding towards a heavy, heavy defeat. They still need 21 to make Australia bat again. It feels a mile off.