Two slips for Curran, who urges his blond hair in and delivers the ball with a skate, rather than a leap. Again, no real bounce, Elgar watchfully defends a maiden.

Unwittingly, I have created a problem for myself. I am unable to verify these claims. And to the person who text in claiming to be Oprah Winfrey, I happen to know that she really doesn't like cricket.

England dearly want to keep Elgar on strike against Denly, but the single is readily available on the leg side. Denly has bowled five overs now. I wonder how many is enough.

For all we know, Jack in London could be Jack Whitehall. Or Jack Wilshere. Or Jack Dee. The Barmies, plenty of them without shirts, are trying to rouse England. In the first innings, such noise caused Elgar to hole out off Bess. For the moment, he's watching Malan shoulder arms to Curran. Not a lot of life in the surface for the seamers at the moment.

No offence to snooker players, but if you were going to claim to be a celeb, you'd aim higher, wouldn't you? More trouble for Elgar from Denly, what appears to be a bat-pad looping over the leg-slip region. Is it true that we're regularly followed by Toby Tarrant? He does love his cricket.

It's a start. For the film, not the cricketing prowess. SCurran is penalised for a bumper that is deemed to be too high. England are going through the options, exploring their plans. It might be that one wicket brings plenty.

Tony Buchanan: I bowled leg cutting medium pacers for my comprehensive side in 1983 against Foxford taking 4 for 12 in 3 overs. I also appeared in a public information film at a car museum in 2004. I think in Ant & Dec money I'm technically a celebrity.

My advice would be if you think you're famous enough, you probably are. I'm also thinking which stars might be the type of person to follow. Maybe David Attenborough checks the score as a break from some important conservation work. Or Adele punches the air when a wicket alert comes through.

Still Sam Curran after the break.

England are excited here, the ball looping out of the reach of the diving Jos Buttler. It actually only came off Dean Elgar's arm, but it answers any questions as to why Denly is bowling at the moment. There is significant rough outside the left-hander's off stump, and it is brought into play more by Denly turning the ball in, rather than Bess turning it away.

Jonathan Agnew
BBC cricket correspondent in Cape Town

These two South Africa openers have played really well indeed. if England had got a couple of early ones, you feel South Africa would have been there for the taking.

England emerge and have a group cuddle halfway to the pitch. They keep the batsmen waiting. There are 33 overs left in the day. It will be Joe Denly to Dean Elgar.

Jonathan Agnew
BBC cricket correspondent in Cape Town

England have got to win here. They have got to level the series.

Thanks, Jack.

There are almost 102,000 people in this page at the moment.

I wonder who the most famous is.

If you've clocked a celebrity reading the live text, let me know.

If you are famous, definitely get in touch. I'm talking blue tick level of fame...

What inroads can England make into the South Africa order after tea?

Here is Stephan Shemilt to help you find out...

Michael Carberry
Former England batsman on The Cricket Social

England were decent. But, as you would expect, South Africa are digging in. This is where you earn your salt as a Test bowler. These are the questions you are now asking of the younger end of England's bowling line-up. It's an enthralling contest.