Cake baked? Candles lit? Right, we're ready to wish a happy birthday to Alex-Oxlade Chamberlain. The Arsenal winger turns 22 today.The first match after he was born was a 1-0 win for the Gunners at north London rivals Tottenham. 

How do I know that? Well, I'll tell you - you can find out quirky facts and interesting snippets about your Premier League life here.

Image source, bbc

Anyway. Back to the Premier League. Is that the sound of the four horsemen of the apocalypse? Or is it Armageddon? Or are those Terminators I see in the distance? I get easily confused. One man who knows about such things is Ian Wright. 

In one of the great opening lines to a column, the Match of the Day pundit says: "If, in years to come, Terminators take over the world and people ask me 'where did it all start?' I will say it was when Cameron Jerome's goal for Norwich was disallowed on the opening day of the 2015-16 season.

"That decision was ridiculous and it really was the beginning of the end for me - it is an Armageddon moment if it sets the tone for decisions for the rest of this campaign."

It really is worth continuing reading the former Arsenal man's thoughts on the opening weekend. You can do so by clicking here. 

Image source, Getty Images

It is not only Premier League football we'll be discussing today. You can follow a live text on Burnley v Birmingham in the Championship this lunchtime plus QPR v Cardiff from 17:00 BST.

There will also be Football League updates throughout the afternoon here.

David De Gea. Remember him? He's another one who's been making headlines this week. 

The Manchester United goalkeeper wasn't in the squad for Friday night's trip to Villa Park and apparently the Real Madrid target is surprised to have been left out of the opening two league games. 

Contrary to Louis van Gaal's comments,sources close to De Gea say he never expressed a desire not to play. Oh, to really know what is going on behind the scenes. Should the Spaniard stay or should he go? 

Image source, Getty Images

Christopher Stanley: Accidentally sat in Frank Skinner's seat for a @WBAFCofficial, external match vs @SunderlandAFC, external. He signed my programme anyway!

Mason: Working @FulhamFC, external Mark Hughes once asked me if his tea could come in a china teapot rather than a metal one... Its on my CV

Jordan Curl-Roper: Sat next to the Mayor of King's Lynn at King's Lynn vs Norwich in a preseason friendly. What an honour 

Tell us your tales of notable people you've set next to at a football match via #bbcfootball and texting on 81111 (UK only)

As someone has pointed out, today's Premier League home teams are low down in the alphabet. (Nope, our 'chat' doesn't get much better than that.)

Southampton v Everton (12:45)  5 live commentary game

Sunderland v Norwich (15:00)

Swansea v Newcastle (15:00)

Tottenham v Stoke (15:00)  5 live commentary game

Watford v West Brom (15:00)

West Ham v Leicester (15:00)

Rob, Lichfield, via text: Sat next to John Gregory in the Villa directors box for a game against Coventry when Gregory had a touchline ban and was phoning instructions down to the dugout. It can't have worked because Coventry spanked us 4-1.

Tell us your tales of notable people you've set next to at a football match via #bbcfootball or text 81111 (UK only)

Image source, Getty Images

A final bit of gossip for the moment before we talk about other things. West Bromwich Albion striker Saido Berahino is wanted by Tottenham Hotspur, according to the Telegraph.

The paper reports Spurs are ready to pay £15m for the 22-year-old after offloading Roberto Soldado to Villarreal.

Image source, Guardian

If you like big close ups of Jose Mourinho's face, then today's Guardian is the newspaper for you.

The newspaper described how yesterday's news conference with the Chelsea boss played out, with David Hytner writing:, external "It was the latest of those moments that shine an unforgiving light on the controlling and sometimes petulant nature of Jose Mourinho’s character."

Image source, Getty Images

What other football gossip has captured our attention? Well, the Daily Mail are reporting that Manchester United are in dispute with Barcelona over the £21.3m buyout clause in 28-year-old forward Pedro's contract at the Nou Camp.

United are thought to have offered a tidy £17.7m, plus £3.6m in add-ons, in an attempt to sign the Spain star. 

Read more football chit-chat in our gossip page. But it isn't compulsory. 

Image source, Daily Star

Much like the rest of today's newspapers, the back page of the Daily Star is dominated by Manchester United's win over Aston Villa, and Jose Mourinho's news conference.

Inside, though, the paper says Louis van Gaal has cast doubt, external on whether Adnan Januzaj will be staying at Manchester United, despite scoring on Friday. Will United let a match winner go? 

Tom: Didn't sit next to him but I saw Mark Charnock, aka Marlon from Emmerdale at Old Trafford once. 10 times more famous than Hugh!  

Marlon Sebastian Dingle has just been described as a "legend" by my colleague. The Cambridge Dictionary describes a legend as "someone very famous and admired, usually because of their ability in a particular area" so, yeah, I suppose Marlon is a legend... Discussion closed. 

Image source, Getty Images

Image source, Premier League predictor

Fancy yourself as a bit of a mystic? Spend your spare time gazing into crystal balls? We've got the interactive game for you. 

Map out the road to glory for your team by predicting the scores for all the games this season with our Premier League Predictor. 

See how your guesses fare against other supporters and pundit Mark Lawrenson, plus get feedback from BBC Sport's team including Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer. Give it a go. It's fun. 

Mark McGuire:  Billy Bragg at Wembley England v Germany Euro 96 semi-final.   

Martin Ed Chatterton: Sat next to Derek 'Degsy' Hatton at the 1995 Everton v Man U cup final. My fireman mate got into an argument with him. Tense.  

Tell us your tales of notable people you've set next to at a football match via #bbcfootball

Image source, Getty Images

If you're listening to BBC Radio 5 live, you should be hearing Danny Baker's irreverent chat. Bliss. There'll the usual Sausage Sandwich segment, with England's Women's football coach Mark Sampson taking part, while former Spurs goalkeeper Paul Robinson is also on the show. 

Today Mr Baker is asking for your tales of notable people you've sat next to at football matches. Tweet your stories to #bbcfootball 

Watched Bristol City next to Tony Robinson aka Baldrick, or Fulham besides Hugh Grant? Let us hear all about it. 

Image source, Daily Express

After our first taste of Friday night football this season, Manchester United's win at Aston Villa dominates the back pages of most of today's newspapers.

"Jan's The Man" screams (not literally) the Daily Express' back page, but there's also an exclusive story, external about Chelsea club doctor Eva Carneiro missing a key meeting.

Carneiro angered Jose Mourinho by going on to the pitch to treat Eden Hazard against his wishes in last weekend's draw against Swansea.The row rumbles on...

Yep, last night we were treated to a bit of Friday Night Lights and, for what it's worth, Manchester United are now top of the Premier League after their 1-0 victory over Aston Villa. 

Were Louis van Gaal's men impressive? They've been better. Aston Villa? They're a work in progress, apparently. 

You can read the match report by clicking here

Image source, BBC Sport