On the tee, from England, Justin Rose. The man who tied for second last year is just getting under way. Jordan Spieth is in bother at four. Too short off the tee, he needs some off-green wizardry to conjure a makeable par putt.

Paul Casey, the sky blue of Manchester City, has taken a little trip towards the pin at the par-three fourth. That should be his first birdie. 

-2: Wiesberger (After 7)

-1: Spieth (3), Fowler (5), Westwood (6), Jaidee (6), T Watson (5), Oosthuizen (3), Dechambeau (3)

Selected others: Par: Casey (3), +1: D Johnson (2).

Follow these links for tee-off times and a full leaderboard.

The big dogs are barking. Spieth is in safely for his first birdie of the week at three. Fowler, at five, has his third in four holes. They are two of the seven players at one under.

Now then, I reckon our collective knowledge about Austrian Bernd Wiesberger could fit on the back of a postage stamp. I can tell you he was one shot off Rory McIlroy after three rounds of the US PGA in 2014, when McIlroy went on to win his fourth major. I can also tell you that he is the only man at two under. After seven holes, he leads the Masters.   

Andrew, I'm going to need a picture of that jacket.

Andrew Neill: A group of friends and I have a matchplay league through the winter. The winner gets a green jacket we found in a charity shop

Phil Mickelson's form may be on the wane a little but boy does he like the smell of this place. It's like the scent of the Green Jacket catches his nostrils and he runs for it with all he's got.

Image source, Getty Images

The 45-year-old from San Diego has finished in the top three a remarkable nine times.

Meanwhile, on the tee, representing the United States of America...

Good afternoon, Jordan Spieth. A humdinger of an approach to the par-four third leaves a short birdie chance. You too, Rickie Fowler. The man with the silliest wardrobe in golf has clawed back the two shots he dropped at the first and a belting second to the fifth leaves his with the opportunity to get the happy side of par.  

Anyway, let's stop and talk for a moment. How are you? Excited for one of the top sporting weekends of the year? Where are you following this from? In the office? Out and about on the school holidays? Somewhere exotic. Let me know. Better yet, send me a picture. If you can get some golf in, all the better. Extra points awarded if you're wearing a green jacket, or a makeshift green jacket - your mum's cardigan, some overalls, the dog's coat. You get the jist.

Allow me to mark your card for some big names going out in the next half and hour or so. Phil Mickelson is on the tee at 15:43, Justin Rose at 15:54 and Adam Scott at 16:05. Also at 16:16, there's Mike Weir, one of the most unlikely Masters champions of all-time. 

Brian Hume: I love The Masters because I've won it a couple of times! Only on the PlayStation of course!

Leo Dennis: I love The Masters because it provides perfect procrastination from revising for university finals!

Mike Guthrie: I love The Masters because... I get to watch the golf instead of having to watch Eastenders or the Kardashian's.

Fill in the blank. "I love #TheMasters because..."

On the subject of Bryson DeChambeau, I can't hear his name without thinking of a Row Sham Bow. I think that was in an episode of South Park...

Early contender for worst hat of the day goes to Bryson DeChambeau. It's a flat cap that wouldn't look of place in Last of the Summer Wine. The amateur has an eagle chance at two, but slides it by. He tidies up to go one under, joining that leading group.   

Spieth, white cap and trousers of an ice cream man, blue fleece of your mum on a hike, has a birdie chance at two. Longish, arc of a James Anderson away-swinger... perfect line... has he given it the beans? Just short. He stays at levels, you devils.

While we're on the subject of Tom Watson, what is his secret? He's 66 years old, but still playing the sort of golf he managed 30 or 40 years ago. Rumour has it he's discovered the elixir of life. I reckon he might be sport's second best grandad. The best? Phil Taylor, obvs.