And that is drinks. Two wickets for England in the first hour of this final session but they need more.

It's time for me to hand over to Timothy Abraham for the final period of this remarkable day.

Huge appeal from Craig Overton after he is brought into the attack.

He bowls a bouncer to the left-handed Nicholls and thinks the batsman has gloved behind through to Bairstow. The umpire disagrees. England think about a review but decide against it. Probably wise, I didn't hear anything.

Nicholls responds by hitting a much better pull through mid-wicket for four.

Graeme Swann
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special

In all of my time playing and watching cricket I've never quite witnessed anything like this morning. The first few overs passed without any incident and then it was just a snowball of England wickets

If you've just been awoken by your 7am alarm and have been startled even further by the score, yes you're reading this right. England have been bowled out for 58 and New Zealand already have a lead of 66.

This however is an opening for England with that wicket of Ross Taylor. Henry Nicholls is the new man who is relatively inexperienced with just 16 Tests to his name.

This should be the hardest time to bat.

Now we have the tell-tale sign it's not going the bowling side's way. Stuart Broad and Joe Root want this pink ball changing.

It looks like they might get their way. Out comes the fourth umpire with his briefcase of new cherries.

Actually, can we call the pink balls cherries or do we need a new fruit? A minor detail I know.

Simon Mann
BBC Test Match Special commentator

There is some bounce in this pitch but that was hurled in about halfway up and it's more runs for New Zealand.

More frustration for Woakes and more glee from the home fans. An effort ball bouncer flies over Jonny Bairstow for five wides. Bairstow gave the umpire a stare to, making sure that didn't go down as byes and the fans cheer sarcastically.

More runs! Back-to-back boundaries off the willow for Taylor. England are leaking runs they cannot afford to give away.

15 from the over.

There are a fair few people suggesting this match would be over tonight if New Zealand declared now. It's hard to argue. This old ball is nibbling in conditions worse than when Trent Boult blew away England for 58 earlier. I doubt Mark Stoneman and Alastair Cook would relish the chance to face Boult again now.

Glen Meskell: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The Test team crumbles because its experienced starting batsman is being kept in the team when he has clearly lost his talent (scoring a couple of hundreds in a dead rubber doesn’t count). Time to drop Alastair Cook. Embarrassing.

England's batsmen must still be wondering how they've messed this match up so badly.

With New Zealand's lead almost 50, the bowlers are starting to get frustrated at they strive for wickets in this final session. Twice in a row Taylor swings and misses on the drive and it's fair to say Chris Woakes is not impressed. On the first occasion he mutters something in frustration. On the second he just laughs.

Simon Mann
BBC Test Match Special commentator

We are at that 'witching' hour where the ball is supposed to do a little bit more. England could do with some wickets here.

Body check! The game is following Chris Woakes and umpire Bruce Oxenford around. A couple of minutes after that run out controversy Woakes goes running to retrieve the ball from square leg but runs straight into the square-leg umpire. Luckily both see the funny side.

James Anderson is into the attack by the way and is looking good. He's finding a bit of away movement in the Auckland darkness and twice makes Taylor play sketchy strokes.

• 6-1 (4.2 overs) - Cook c Latham b Boult 5
• 6-2 (6.2 overs) - Root b Boult 0
• 16-3 (8.1 overs) - Malan c Watling b Boult 2
• 18-4 (9.4 overs) - Stoneman c Watling b Southee 11
• 18-5 (10.3 overs) - Stokes b Boult 0
• 18-6 (11.2 overs) - Bairstow c&b Southee 0
• 23-7 (13.0 overs) - Woakes b Boult 5
• 23-8 (13.4 overs) - Moeen b Southee 0
• 27-9 (15.4 overs) - Broad c Williamson b Southee 0
• 58 all out (20.4 overs) - Anderson c Nicholls b Boult 1

Image source, Getty Images

Do you really want to know? Really...?

England were skittled for a measly 58 after being asked to bat, hurried out in 20.4 overs. They didn't even survive the first session.

If we tell you Craig Overton was the best batsman, with 33 not out, that says it all. In fact, without a last-wicket stand of 29, England would have posted their lowest Test total in history. As it was, they scraped to their sixth worst.

Captain Kane Williamson is currently leading New Zealand's reply - he has an unbeaten fifty and the advantage is approaching 50. England, in short, are in the doo doo.

One bright spot for the tourists - and we're clutching at straws here - is Stuart Broad has just become the second England player to take 400 Test wickets.

Image source, Getty Images

Graeme Swann
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special

I think he touched that simply because Chris Woakes wouldn't make it up. He's the one player in that dressing room who we would all trust. He's angry - I've never seen him angry in my life.

The England players wander back to their fielding positions still looking pretty miffed. Woakes is worked up and bowls a snorter to Taylor that the batsman does well to miss.

A bit of controversy but England can't really argue. You just couldn't tell on the replays whether Woakes had got a finger on the ball. It's daft from Williamson though. He's a good three or four feet out of his ground.

Bryan Waddle
BBC Test Match Special commentator

England were pretty convinced but the third umpire couldn't absolutely certify that. The only person who will know whether his hand made contact with the ball is Chris Woakes but he isn't the third umpire.

Third man Marais Erasmus gives it not out.

You can't argue on the evidence shown but Woakes isn't happy. He shakes his head at the decision and then has a word with the on-field umpires. Joe Root is having a chat too.