How have West Ham not scored? Michail Antonio's cross flies in front of two diving Hammers players before being met by Andy Carroll at the back post but his effort is going wide of the far post before being poked into the floor and on to the roof of the net by the prone Manuel Lanzini.

Julian Dicks will have a few memories of the Boleyn Ground. The ex-Hammers defender, now coach, watches on with a grimace as the current left-back Aaron Cresswell drives to the byline and sees his low cross cut out and cleared.

Saved! Crossbar! Another save! Bournemouth manage to wriggle out of a stickier spot than a semi-naked James Bond being ambushed by a gaggle of baddies. Craig Gardner thumps the penalty towards the top corner, Artur Boruc flicks onto the crossbar, saves again from Steve Cook's attempted clearance, then the Cherries defender hacks clear. Phew!

Image source, Reuters

Image source, Getty Images

West Brom have the chance to double their lead from the spot - rather fortunately some might say. Cherries skipper Tommy Elphick wrestles with lanky Baggies defender Gareth McAuley at a set-piece and ref Mark Clattenburg points to the spot...

No sign of Palace hitting back at Selhurst Park. They have barely threatened since Stoke took the lead. Dwight Gayle wanted a penalty for a challenge by Phil Bardsley but the referee didn't want to know.

Andros Townsend is the Newcastle player most likely to create an opening for the visitors - but that's not saying much. Rafa's rabble have been dragged down to Villa's level in the opening 38 minutes. Townsend shimmies and step-overs his way  down the right touchline, dinking in a cross that is easily claimed by Mark Bunn.

Enforced break in play as Sunderland striker Fabio Borini is clattered in an aerial challenge with John Terry. An accidental whack, I must add. Borini looks like a tall fella who has just cracked his head on a low ceiling beam. Dazed and confused.

All a bit subdued at the Stadium of Light. The home fans - and their team - need a lift before the break. Less than 10 minutes until half-time...

West Ham are in bits at the back. They look vulnerable every time Swansea come forward. Wayne Routledge gets the chance to shoot but his effort from inside the box is blocked by a Hammers defender. This is not how the Hammers saw their final Saturday at the Boleyn going.

Albion go close(ish) to doubling their lead. Craig Gardner has a pop from outside the box, Cherries keeper Artur Boruc flinging himself low to this right to push around the post.

Goalless in the scoreline. Goalless in the shots-on-target column. Plenty of perspiration at Villa Park, very little inspiration. Easy to see why these two teams are scrapping about at the wrong end of the Premier League.

Oh. So close for West Ham. Lukasz Fabianski comes out flapping for Dimitri Payet's corner and misses, with the ball dropping at the feet of Angelo Ogbonna, but his effort rockets over the bar.

Sunderland haven't fully stretched Chelsea keeper Thibaut Courtois since going behind, although the Belgian does need to stop DeAndre Yedlin's header. Straight at him though. The Bob Stokoe statue against the Stadium of Light would have stopped that.

Is it National Take A Beachball To A Football Match Day?! We have another stray inflatable at Dean Court, which needs to be booted off the pitch by Albion keeper Ben Foster. In the actual football....little response from Bournemouth to Albion's opener.

Sunderland will probably nab a winner off an inflatable at this rate. That would never happen. Right?