Postpublished at 08:58 Greenwich Mean Time 31 January 2019
What is this, 2005?! As much as I loved Juan, you do know he's now 40, right? And retired in 2014?
Transfer window closes in England at 23:00 GMT, midnight in Scotland
Batshuayi joins Palace on loan from Chelsea
Fulham make late move to sign winger Markovic from Liverpool
Crouch joins Burnley from Stoke, Vokes heads other way
Newcastle sign Almiron for club record £20m & left-back Barreca on loan from Monaco
Leicester loan Monaco midfielder Tielemans, send Silva on loan the other way
Arsenal confirm Suarez signing and loan Smith Rowe to RB Leipzig
Montero & Carroll leave Swansea, but deals for Fer and James collapse
Emma Sanders and Tom Rostance
What is this, 2005?! As much as I loved Juan, you do know he's now 40, right? And retired in 2014?
#bbcfootball or text 81111
My mate sells muffins from a cart at Liverpool John Lennon Airport, and he's convinced that he just saw Juan Roman Riquelme in arrivals, wearing an Everton onesie.
Now this would be interesting.
The Daily Mail's north west football reporter Dominic King says Peter Crouch could be joining Burnley with Sam Vokes going the other way.
I can't wait for the Sean Dyche episode of the Peter Crouch Podcast, external.
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Fulham
Aboubakar Kamara has had an interesting month.
The Fulham striker incurred manager Claudio Ranieri's wrath when he refused to let Aleksandar Mitrovic take a penalty against Huddersfield on 29 December.
He was then arrested on 23 January at the club's training ground on suspicion of actual bodily harm and criminal damage.
Fulham suspended him from all club-related activities and it seems he may now be on his way out. He posted this picture on Instagram on Wednesday, apparently on board a Turkish Airlines plane. He has been linked with Malatyaspor., external
We understand police released Kamara pending further inquiries. He has not been charged and there are no bail conditions, so he is free to complete a move out of the country.
These deals aren't expected to be done today but it's worth keeping an eye on them heading into the summer.
The top story in today's gossip is the Sun saying that Real Madrid are preparing a £100m move for Marcus Rashford, external before he signs a new contract with Manchester United.
Also, Chelsea boss Maurizio Sarri has said Eden Hazard can leave the club in the summer,, external according to Sky Sports. The Belgian forward has previously been linked with Real.
What's happened to Mike Ashley?!
Newcastle United
The Northern Echo is reporting, external that both Atlanta playmaker Miguel Almiron and Monaco left-back Antonio Barreca have passed their medicals at Newcasle.
Almiron will join for around £20m - breaking the club's 14-year-old transfer record - while Barreca will reportedly sign on loan until the end of the season.
The Echo also says the Magpies want to sign Benfica midfielder Andreas Samaris on loan until the end of the season and have held discussions with Nantes over winger Anthony Limbombe.
#bbcfootball or text 81111
Lewis Aird: I have just seen Neymar outside Ibrox in a Rangers top. I asked him for a picture and he said wait I need to sign a deal and walks in Ibrox.
Nigel: Just overheard 'Arry Redknapp on the phone to his wife telling her he was going to spend the day driving around training grounds with his window down for old times sake.
What does your club need?
Fulham
With his club down in 19th, Fulham fan Sammy James - presenter of the Fulhamish podcast - says the signing of Ryan Babel has been "really positive".
"It's been a pretty quiet transfer window for Fulham so far, with only Ryan Babel arriving from Besiktas," said Sammy.
"His impact has been really positive, and much of the negativity surrounding his move has been quickly proven wrong.
"It's obvious that Fulham need to sign another centre-back before the transfer window closes, and currently it looks like Crystal Palace's Scott Dann is our new main target.
"He has bags of Premier League experience, and if he is the difference between survival and relegation, then it would be an absolute bargain."
Leicester are closing in on a loan move for Monaco midfielder Youri Tielemans but who is he? Here's a little bit of info...
He featured five times for Belgium in their run to the World Cup semi-finals last summer, including starting both games against England.
And yep, those stats above are right. He's only 21 but has already clocked up 250 games. Made his Anderlecht debut at 16.
#bbcfootball or text 81111
DDL:Transfer Deadline Day today, or, if you're in Tottenham, Thursday.
Harry Haynes: News just in from north London: Daniel Levy spotted burning his checkbook.
Rory: Would love either Zaha or Tielemans at our club but realistically more likely to hear an announcement about the stadium being delayed for another month!
Sorry Rory, seems you can already forget about Youri Tielemans. Our reporter Simon Stone says Leicester are closing in on a loan deal for the Belgian.
What does your club need?
Everton
It could be an "interesting day at Goodison" says David Downie from the Blue Room Podcast, which is focused on all things Everton.
"It appears Idrissa Gueye is edging ever closer to a move to PSG after he was left out of the squad entirely against Huddersfield on Tuesday night," said Downie.
"Given our recent struggles in that area - including Gueye’s under-par performances and a very tired Andre Gomes - I’m not sure a mishmash of Tom Davies, Morgan Schneiderlin or James McCarthy is enough for Everton and Marco Silva to kick on following a real barren spell in the league, and being dumped out of the FA Cup.
"Many would say it’s sensible to wait until the summer, but given the pressure the manager has been under from the fans recently, can he turn to players who’ve barely featured for the most part of the season and hope to improve?
"It could be an interesting day at Goodison."
#bbcfootball or text 81111
Just have a feeling that Callum Wilson will be moving on today. Hope not, as we are building something special at Bournemouth.
Adam
Simon Stone
BBC Sport
Leicester are closing in on the loan signing of Monaco midfielder Youri Tielemans.
Tielemans flew into the Midlands last night to complete his medical, with Adrien Silva going the other way.
The joint deal is yet to be completed but no major obstacles are anticipated.
Highly-rated Belgium international Tielemans, 21, joined Monaco from Anderlecht in 2017.
Silva has failed to make much of an impact at the King Power Stadium since arriving from Sporting Lisbon for £22million in 2017.
Silva was forced to wait six months to make his debut as the paperwork arrived with Fifa 14 seconds late. He has never really recovered his form and has made just three Premier League appearances this season.
The 29-year-old Portugal international is highly rated by new Monaco coach Leonardo Jardim.
Saudi Arabian side Al-Hilal have gone much more low-key with their announcement of the signing of Sebastian Giovinco from Toronto FC.
The former Italy forward is filmed putting pen to paper beside club president Mohammed Bin Faisal in Los Angeles...but it looks like they're in a restaurant.
We need an 'elaborate' signing video and I'm afraid this one doesn't quite cut the mustard. Plenty of time yet though.
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Ever since Alexis Sanchez's stirring performance on the piano at Old Trafford, clubs have been competing with each other for the most creative signing announcements on social media.
It's not quite transfer related, but Ecuadorian club Independiente del Valle might just have made the best content yet, with the announcement of their squad for the new season.
Will we get anything better than this today?
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Shivam Manghnani: Chelsea either need to go back to Ruben Loftus Cheek because he's our second best midfielder after Kante or send Kovacic back to Spain and get someone that doesn't tire after 45 minutes of football.
Glennyboy: West Ham to help Chelsea lower their wage bill by signing Cahill and Drinkwater and buying an additional striker please.
The Daily Mirror are reporting, external that Chelsea are targeting a deadline day move for Watford midfielder Abdoulaye Doucoure.
The Frenchman had been linked with a move to Paris St-Germain earlier in the window.
Sounds like one to keep an eye on.
Simon Stone
BBC Sport
Bournemouth defender Tyrone Mings is understood to be on his way to Aston Villa for a medical.
Mings, 25, was being chased by a number of Championship clubs but the central defender has chosen Villa, and the chance to work with former England skipper John Terry, who is part of manager Dean Smith's coaching staff.
It is likely to be a loan deal for the former Ipswich man, who joined Bournemouth for £8m in 2015.
Mings' arrival is not expected to be the end of Villa's deadline day activity, with Smith also keen to bolster his midfield options.