Oh wait, now we've seen some ambition from them. Too much actually as Joelinton tries to score from his own half after spotting Mendy off his line.

He doesn't.

Image source, Getty Images

I think this here is photo of Newcastle's second touch of the ball so far.

I joke, and I know you have to put this in the context of the relative spend on each of these XIs. But for a home side, we've seen absolutely no ambition from Newcastle.

Matt: Newcastle have to be up there with burnley in being the most negative footballing side in the Prem.

Lawrence Wright: I love watching football, two teams giving the best they have to win a contest. Bruce is fielding a team to play something, but it's clearly not football.

This is like me playing a game of Fifa against my grandma*. Reece James' cross is just a fraction ahead of Abraham in the box as Chelsea continue to push forward.

*My grandma is really good.

How early and how low a scoreline can you get out the Simpsons 'stop, he's already dead!' gif?

The way this is going, Newcastle might not get another kick, let alone a chance.

Image source, Getty Images

This has probably been the highlight so far for Newcastle - Joelinton's run in the second minute which saw him beat at least one man before being fouled.

The slimmest of pickings.

So, Newcastle have had 15% of possession so far. If you're new to this, that is not good.

No player has scored more PL own goals since Fernandez's debut than he has (5, level with Lewis Dunk).

Meanwhile, Chelsea nearly make it 2-0 as Werner's low ball across the box flies a few yards in front of Abraham.

That point that Alan Shearer was happy to snap someone's hand off for before kick-off already feels like a mission.

And still the away side come.

A brilliant ball into the box by Hatem Ziyech finds Tammy Abraham on the move but his goalbound header is tipped wide by Karl Darlow.

Chelsea are looking ominous. They work another opening, this one a bit less clear than the first. However, it was still a chance - 20 yards from goal - which Mateo Kovacic hammers over.

First big chance, first big save. Chelsea open Newcastle up with ease, presenting an opportunity to Timo Werner to strike a low shot across goal that Karl Darlow tips wide. Too easy that. Way too easy.

Back-to-back corners for the home side bring no reward, with Edouard Mendy flapping a bit at the second before the ball is hacked away.

Positive start from the big man. Joelinton collects the ball wide left and drives his way past a tackle or two before being brought down.

Newcastle waste the first free-kick but win another, which is chipped in towards an unmarked Federico Fernandez in the box. He doesn't connect properly with his header back across and Ben Chilwell heads behind for a corner.

Oh thank goodness for that, the Premier League is back. We are under way at St James'. Newcastle in the classic black and white, Chelsea in that orangey/purple thing.

Alan Shearer
Former England striker on BBC Radio 5 Live

Newcastle don’t create a lot, haven’t created a lot this season.

They will be the first to admit, they expect Chelsea to have a lot of possession, they’ll try and sit back, and hit them on the break.

Newcastle are not a great football team; it’s going to take time and a lot of years to get back to where they were before. To try and go head-to-head against a team like Chelsea, they’ll cut you up.

Is there a group more staunchly ignoring the fact that football is any different this season than stadium announcers? Pumping tunes out, still reading out the teams - as far as they're concerned every seat is full.

The teams are out. Our first game will be under way in just a minute or two.

Alan Shearer
Former England striker on BBC Radio 5 Live

This is another factor where teams are missing not having fans in the stadium.

When Newcastle played Manchester United the other night at St. James’ they get the first goal.

This stadium would have been rocking.

But Newcastle instead sat back, invited pressure and we know what happened, they got battered.

If we'd have had fans in they'd have been right onside and would've backed Newcastle to get another goal.