If you haven't seen Abbott and Costello's 'Who's on first base?" sketch, Google it.

We'll wait for you to get there...

Tottenham Hotspur

Out of Jose Mourinho's favour and even out of form Dele Alli is still a brilliant, talented and young player.

Personally, I'm very glad we're not trying to cash out now while his stock is so low. Especially as, if our form continues as it is, he may well outlast the manager he's clearly clashing with.

Alternatively, with Harry Kane out injured, and Spurs lacking a third source of goals behind him and Son Heung-min, perhaps out of desperation, Alli has a way back in to Jose's plans.

Steve Green: No mention of Nigel Clough in the Offspring XIs yet. I suppose Rome wasn't built in a day. But his Dad wasn't on that particular job.

Kevin: Offspring XI. Formation? Pffft. Kasper Schmeichel, Alex Bruce, Dan Potts, Bradley Wright-Phillips, Frank Lampard, Jamie Redknapp, Gio Reyna, Justin Kluivert, Erling Haaland, Marcus Thuram, Ianis Hagi.

Check out our transfers page to see every deal.

Callum Wright [Leicester - Cheltenham] Loan

Oladapo Afolayan [West Ham - Bolton] Loan

Daryl Dike [Orlando City - Barnsley] Loan

Serhat Tasdemir [Peterborough - Oldham] Loan

Lukas Jensen [Burnley - Bolton] Loan

Wow, it could have been four Matt Smiths in league football (see 17:06 entry).

Great shout, AEA - here's the proof.

I know what you're thinking, what's the latest with Famara Diedhiou?

The Bristol City striker is out of contract in the summer and Middlesbrough were credited with an interest in him but we reckon he stays for now...

Also, League Two promotion chasers Cheltenham Town have signed attacking midfielder Callum Wright from Leicester City on loan until the end of the season.

Phil McNulty
BBC Sport chief football writer

Liverpool's deal to sign Ozan Kabak on loan from Schalke looks a good one for both them and the 20-year-old Turk.

He gets the chance to impress at Liverpool and show manager Jurgen Klopp what he is made of at close quarters while they have an option - signficantly not an obligation - to buy after paying a £1m loan fee now with the potential for £500,000 in bonuses.

If Kabak impresses then an £18m fee for a permanent deal seems reasonable enough in the summer. Perfect case of try before you buy.

Dafydd Pritchard
BBC Sport Wales

Cardiff City striker Robert Glatzel has joined Bundesliga club Mainz on loan for the rest of the season.

Glatzel returns to his native Germany having joined Cardiff from Heidenheim in July 2019 for a fee of £5.5m.

The 27-year-old has made 51 League appearances for the Welsh club but has been restricted to just eight Championship starts this season.

She must be furious she's missed out on this one...

I've just had a text from Emma.

"Why are all the signings happening now?! TYPICAL."

And then she used a word I'm not sure I can publish here to describe the live text.

Mentioning Oxford full-back Josh Ruffels in the same breath as Erling Braut Haaland (see 16:40 and 16:41 GMT) has got U's fans nervous.

Is he the English Roberto Carlos? (Yes)

Image source, Getty Images

Phil McNulty
BBC Sport chief football writer

Liverpool are close to completing a loan deal for Schalke's Turkey international central defender Ozan Kabak.

The 20-year-old will join Liverpool until the end of the season in addition to the deal which brings Preston North End's Ben Davies to Anfield in a £2m move.

Kabak comes with a strong recommendation from former Huddersfield Town manager David Wagner, who coached the 20-year-old at Schalke and worked with Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp at Borussia Dortmund.

Liverpool have an option - not an obligation - to buy Kabak at the end of the season and will pay a £1m loan fee now with a potential for a £500,000 bonus based on games and how they fare in the Champions League.

There is also that option for a permanent deal for Kabak at £18m plus add-ons which does not need to be activated until June, giving Liverpool the opportunity to assess him at close quarters for the next few months.

Liverpool are completing the formalities of the move although it is not done yet.

Kabak was also recommended to Klopp by former Schalke sporting director and close friend Christian Heidel who was at Mainz when the Liverpool boss was in charge there.

Now the transfers are rolling in, albeit not signings for English sides.

Hertha Berlin have signed 33-year-old Germany midfielder Sami Khedira from Juventus.

We have a Premier League departure. USA full-back DeAndre Yedlin, 27, has left Newcastle for Galatasaray.

Image source, Getty Images

Looks like Charlton's loan signing from Arsenal has got Roger, and us, thinking. Matt Smith is the new Matt Taylor, it seems.

So there's that Matt Smith - the one who's moved today.

And the one who plays up front for Millwall. And one who plays in midfield for Doncaster, on loan from Man City. Any advance on three?

I think that's it. We're not including the one who played Doctor Who - transfers using the Tardis don't count.

Gareth Vincent
BBC Sport Wales

Steve Cooper is keen to bolster his Swansea City squad for what he hopes will be an end-of-season push for the Premier League, and the Welsh club are set to do business this evening.

Forward Morgan Whittaker, 20, is expected to arrive from Derby County in a deal worth around £700,000.

Swansea could also sign DC United's USA international Paul Arriola on loan as well as a right wing-back.

But Cooper's bid to land a senior centre-forward on a permanent deal looks like ending in frustration.

So where are we up to? We're still waiting on a big move but we have, FINALLY, had a signing in the Premier League

Ecuador international Moises Caicedo has joined Brighton from Independiente del Valle.

Striker Glenn Murray has also left Brighton for Nottingham Forest on a free.

There's also been a few loan movements out of Premier League clubs. Taylor Harwood-Bellis has joined Blackburn from Manchester City and Manchester United's Teden Mengi has gone to Derby. Read all the deals here.

But all eyes remain on Liverpool, who may sign a second central defender after sealing a £2m deal for Preston's Ben Davies, with Marseille's Duje Caleta-Car and Schalke's Ozan Kabak potential targets. More on that here.

Elsewhere, Newcastle full-back DeAndre Yedlin is set to join Turkish side Galatasaray, while West Brom are set to sign Arsenal's Ainsley Maitland-Niles and Celtic are expected to announce the loan signing of Everton right-back Jonjoe Kenny.