Dustin Johnson, slumping around, shoulders down by his ankles, seemingly forever relaxed. Birdie putt on six, a chance to move to two under. This is maybe eight feet, surely he pours it in there... yes... NO. Stays up. A look of disbelief by the big American.

Lovely stuff from Rory McIlroy up on 14, sending his wedge from around 130ft to within 10ft or so. Birdie chance to come. He stands over it, motionless... sends it... never in. Pulled from the moment it left the blade.

The fab four! Patton Kizzire immediately rectifies that dropped shot on the 12th with a birdie on the next.

The American is back into the lead with Tiger Woods, Jon Rahm and Justin Harding for company.

Although one of that trio is in bother...

Announcement over the Augusta loud speakers: Clean up on hole four! Paul Casey has spilled yet another stroke, cuffing his tee shot into the sand, chipping out to nine feet and curling his putt past the left edge.

A rueful shake of the head. We've all been there. Not Augusta, but we've been there.

And they're not the only ones getting excited! The Tiger Roar will be sending shudders down the spines of the other players.

Back-to-back birdies for Woods puts into a three-way share of the lead.

And you wouldn't have thought that would have happened after a wayward tugged tee shot left the patrons scattering for shelter.

But a wonderful second through the trees - the sort of shot us mere mortals would crash against one of several trunks in our eye-line - nestles on the green.... then a 25-foot putt disappears down the drain.

Golfing World are getting excited...

If Michelin-starred world buffets were ever a thing then Howard's choices would be on menu...

Howard Salwasser: Caesar salad and cheese & crackers to start.

Fire-roasted goose with carrots, creamed potatoes.

Calzone with pimento cheese.

Peach ice cream with pumpkin pie and chocolate chocolate chip cookies.

Minnesota craft beer.

We want to know what your Champions Dinner menu would look like. Tweet us and send an image if you wish. It's #bbcgolf.

Image source, Getty Images

Key moment coming up here to possibly ignite Rory McIlroy's tricky round. He goes at the green on 13 and leaves something long and testing for eagle.

Rickie Fowler goes in even closer but is just off the dance floor.At one under, a birdie here moves him into the thick of things.

Up steps Rory, breaks from left to right, a long way to travel... nice weight... leaves a tap-in birdie. Fowler leaves his birdie putt an inch shy.

-3 J Harding (SA), J Rahm (Spa)

-2 L Bjerregaard (Den), C Conners (Can), J.B. Holmes (US), G Woodland (US), L Oosthuizen (SA), T Olesen (Den), T Finau (US), B Langer (Ger), I Poulter (Eng), P Kizzire (US), T Woods (US)

-1 A Scott (Aus), W Simpson (US), T Fleetwood (Eng), X Schauffele (US), R Fowler (US), M Kuchar (US), F Molinari (Ita), T Hatton (Eng), D Johnson (US), B Dechambeau (US), K Na (US), P Cantlay (US), P Mickelson (US), J Thomas (US) B Koepka (US)

Selected others:

E S Lyle (Sco), J Rose (Eng), B Watson (US) B Grace (SA), P Reed (US)

+1 R McIlroy (NI), R Fowler (US), J Spieth (US) E Pepperell (Eng)

+2 P Casey (Eng),

+3 D Willett (Eng)

+8 I Woosnam (Wal)

Nothing too clever for from Paul Casey on the par four third as his tee shot leaks right, his recovery flies over the back and his chip is snared on the apron.

Two over after three and a scorecard with more blemishes than a spot cream commercial.

A substitution at the top. Patton Kizzire is hooked by the boss, with Jon Rahm telling Mr Augusta that he wants a run.

The burly Spaniard finds the 13th in two and needs two putts to move three under with a fifth birdie of the round.

He's level with clubhouse leader Justin Harding.

Get on your dancing shoes, you sexy little swiiiiine. Tiger waltzes down to the 13th dancefloor with his putter on his arm. Just the 40-odd feet putt for an eagle...

Woods' putting has not been great this year but you wouldn't think judging by this effort. Perfectly placed, wonderfully weighted.

A two-foot tiddler is swatted away with minimum fuss and the 14-time major winner is two under.

Tiger is one off the lead!

Ian Poulter is nudging south.

The Ryder Cup frother is down to two under after stiffing his tee shot on the 181-yard par three six within 11 feet.

A sub-zero putt from the Hertfordshire man.

Image source, Getty Images

Den: Love that Parmo is being promoted as a Champions meal, which it absolutely is of course. I bet Steph McGovern will be so proud.

Spider: This is the greatest weekend of the year! Two nights of following the action on BBC live text before the footage starts on Saturday. About time that Rory McIlroy won on this track! Guinness Steak and ale pie on the Masters dinner menu next year.

What would your Champions Dinner menu be? Tweet us on #bbcgolf.

I say pastry. A lot of pastry.

Dustin Johnson tees it up on four, a long 240-yard par-three. He puts too much beef on it and will have to get up and down. Soft chip, soft hands, testing 10ft or so for par... drains it.

Bryson DeChambeau arrows off the tee to within a kick in. He duly walks up and nudges home for birdie.

Tommy Fleetwood for a birdie on the 13th... it isn't an easy one though. The rockstar-haired Englishman punts his ball up the hill from about 25 feet, but it slinks off right and stays above ground. The putt left is a gimme for even us mid handicappers (ahem, mid-to-high)...

Image source, Getty Images

The first starters are in the clubhouse, probably with a tall glass of something chilled, a sandwich and side order of crisps at the bar and the football on the television overhead.

Corey Conners was one of the first group out and the 27-year-old Canadian fired an eagle and three birdies in an opening 70 to continue his recent run of form.

"It's been wild, definitely unexpected but I'm playing some good golf and really excited to be here and honoured to be playing in the Masters and just trying to keep riding the good play," Conners said.

"I had a great day out there today, a lot of fun, and hit some quality shots and was able to get a couple under par, which was very pleasing. It's been a bit crazy the last week but everything's been great and I'm just trying to really enjoy the experience."

Alistair Bruce-Ball
BBC Radio 5 live commentator

Tiger Woods is the last man to win the Masters after finishing outside the top 10 in the first round in 2005. So Rory McIlroy does not want to drop off too much.

The last 13 winners of the Masters were inside the top 10 after the first round while 77% of all Masters champions have been inside the top 10 after the first round. The average first round position of the last ten winners is 4.9.

Has everyone booked Monday off work? You know, just in case...

It always looks so serene at the Augusta National as well.