Dean Mayer: Snubstitution – in which the replaced player ignores the manager as he heads down the tunnel.  

Ofni Smith: "Fiffafaffa" - aimless midfield passing by a team that think they're playing tikataka, but are simply faffing about.  

City look so fragile when Juve come at them and this time it's Swiss full-back Stephan Lichtsteiner just runs through Gael Clichy, he's into the area and Joe Hart has to make a bold save at his near post. 

Steve, take a bow.

Only Joe Hart (12) has made fewer touches than Sergio Aguero so far for Manchester City (16).  

His heat map below shows he has struggled to have an impact...

Image source, .

Mario Mandzukic is giving Nicolas Otamendi a horrible evening, bullying him, pushing him all over the place. Otamendi needs to find a way - legal or not - to stop the Croatian from running the show. You don't get many big number nines bossing centre-halves these days. Good to see.

United have a chance now as Anthony Martial latches on to a loose ball and lashes a shot at the heels of Jeroen Zoet. A really very good chance indeed.

In the other game in Manchester City's group, Borussia Monchengladbach are ahead at home to Sevilla, Lars Stindl nipping in at the far post to poke home a cross.

Monchengladbach are third, four points behind Manchester City.

Chris Waddle
BBC Radio 5 live at Old Trafford

"PSV look very dangerous on the break. They are getting more time on the ball as United have come off the pace. Every time Locadia picks up the ball down this left-hand side he is causing problems."

Sloppy from Nani - I mean Memphis - as he coughs up possession to Joshua Brenet. Brenet carries the ball on, and on, and on, into the area and he wins a corner.

The Dutch side really having a go now.

Image source, Getty Images

Anon, via text: I've always loved a quick equaliser, but it takes up too much of my time to say hence quequaliser was born. You're welcome. 

Monty from Oxfordshire: Apocornerlypse: when a team goes to the corner to run down the clock until the end of the earth. "Into the last 10 and here comes the apocornerlypse" 

Nice! A stint of penastination could lead to some apocornerlypse no doubt?

The first whiff of a PSV attack and it's nice, they move the ball swiftly through the lines and when Luuk de Jong tees up Jorrit Hendrix he forces David de Gea into action. Good save!

How has he not scored there?! Daley Blind whips in a corner, pitching on the six-yard line and any decent connection and it's goaltime. Morgan Schneiderlin meets it but can't steer home. 

Image source, Opta

All sorts of passing involved in that goal for Real Madrid, but the cross and finish were brilliantly instinctive. Gareth Bale got ahead of the goalkeeper to lift in the cross and Cristiano Ronaldo adjusted himself quickly to head in from an awkward bounce. A nod of acknowledgement from Ronaldo to Bale as the players celebrated.

That, by the way, was Ronaldo's 68th goal in 68 Champions League games. Not bad, not bad at all...

Remember Yaya Toure's goal v Sunderland in the League Cup final? That lazy swing hooking the ball into the top corner? He goes close to a repeat, chipping a ball inches away from the corner. City well in this game - they just need to find a way to stop Paul Pogba. 

Image source, AP

The touch maps for Paul Pogba (left) and Yaya Toure (right) show both midfielders are trying to have an impact in the attacking half.

The graphics may not show it but Pogba is looking the more effective at the moment...

Image source, .

Chris Waddle
BBC Radio 5 live at Old Trafford

"Ryan Giggs is sitting next to Louis van Gaal now and the current United side are crying out for that kind of player, who can get past players and open doors."

Paul Pogba inherited the 10 shirt at Juve this season and he is playing much higher up the pitch then when I've seen him before. He has been absolutely outstanding.

He starts another move which ends with Mario Mandzukic crashing a shot on goal, Joe Hart has to fly to his left and push away. Jesus Navas is struggling with a knock...

Image source, Getty Images