Truro City: National League South side face playing 13 games in 28 days to end season
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Truro City were promoted to National League South last summer via the play-offs
"We're Saturday, Tuesday, Friday, Monday, Thursday, Saturday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday - oh, and we have to fit into there somewhere the abandoned Eastbourne game from Tuesday night."
There cannot be many football managers with as tough a task as Truro City boss Paul Wotton right now.
The National League South side still have to play 13 games - almost a quarter of their season - in 28 days.
Wet weather has meant the White Tigers - who were promoted to the sixth tier last season - have had game after game postponed because of waterlogged pitches this season, and now they are having to play catch-up.
"How we are going to get through it I have absolutely no idea," Wotton tells BBC Sport.
"It's going to be a case of taking each game as it comes and seeing which players are fit and ready to go in each game.
"It's going to be very, very difficult - that's for sure. There will be no training."
Truro City are yet to play a 'home' fixture at Taunton Town because of the recent poor weather - though they did face their temporary landlords as the away side in early February
Truro, who are playing outside their Cornish home as work on a new ground finishes, have had more than their fair share of bad luck.
They began the season sharing with Southern Premier League club Plymouth Parkway until the conditions at Bolitho Park got so bad they had to leave.
On to Taunton Town - 125 miles away - but the same problem as wet conditions mean that since they agreed a deal with the fellow sixth-tier club they are yet to play a 'home' game at their Somerset stadium.
Truro's past three 'home' matches have taken place at National League North club Gloucester City - 195 miles from the Cornish capital.
And to top it off their game on Tuesday night against Eastbourne Borough was abandoned after an hour when an opposing player suffered a serious knee injury and the referee deemed the wait for an ambulance to be too long.
"It's an absolute one-off, it'll never happen again," said former Plymouth Argyle and Southampton player Wotton.
"You're going to a home game and the away team are getting there quicker than you. It's horrifying really but it's completely out of our control."
'I don't think extending season is an option'
Paul Wotton has been Truro City's manager since July 2019
Truro returned to the sixth tier of English football last season via the Southern League Premier South play-offs.
They currently find themselves 19th out of 24 teams, three points above the relegation zone but with at least five games in hand on the sides in the bottom four.
Truro can still catch leaders Yeovil Town with the amount of games they have left, though avoiding the drop rather than making the play-offs is a more realistic ambition with their fixture congestion.
"I don't think extending the season is an option," says Wotton.
"But you have a player welfare point of view. Can players play Saturday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday Saturday? In my opinion no, I think that's just ludicrous.
"If that does become what we have to do, you then have an integrity issue as well.
"There are teams playing for promotion, teams battling to stay safe and you're going to have to play a weakened team in one of those fixtures and it just becomes a bit of a sham really.
"It has been unprecedented weather, it's been against us, but all I ever seem to say is 'it is what it is, we can't do anything about it'. It's true, and I'm kind of fed up of saying it.
"It's a very difficult thing for a manager to say, but staying up this year would be a huge success with the troubles we've had this season."
With an apt turn of phrase, Wotton adds: "If we can keep our heads above water for the next few weeks we should be OK."
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